Big Bird has now gotten the COVID-19 vaccine
Today, in “News We Can’t Wait To Hear Tucker Carlson Repeat At A Much Louder Volume Tomorrow” news: Sesame Street resident Big Bird has now received the COVID-19 vaccine.
The famed Bird (category: Big) announced the news on his official Twitter account today, informing his various Follow-That-Birders that, although his wing is feeling a little sore, he’s happy that the vaccine will “give my body an extra protective boost that keeps me and others healthy.”
This sensitive medical information (brought to you in apparent defiance of the letters H, I, P, A, and A) was released as part of a CNN Town Hall designed to help explain the COVID-19 vaccines to kids, who just became (at aged 5 through 12) eligible for the Pfizer version of the vaccine. Big Bird also talked with CNN’s Erica Hill and Dr. Sanjay Gupta, who reminded the over-sized avian that he had actually received many vaccinations in his life—presumably in reference to the standard set that kids in the U.S. get at a young age. (We don’t actually know what vaccines you give a large, simple bird.)
All in all, Big Bird’s jab feels like a pretty standard version of the Sesame Street mission statement, which aims to make clear and easier to understand many of the scarier aspects of being a living person, or giant bird. Big Bird wasn’t the only Street-er to get the treatment, either: monster-person Rosita also got her first dose this weekend.
Anyway, this is mostly interesting to us in so far as it divides the American psyche pretty cleanly in two: On the one hand, you have your Joe Rogan/Aaron Rodgers types, guzzling horse medicine in an effort to boost their “immunity.” And on the other, you have a large foam bird, giving the nation’s youth actual useful medical advice. Truly, ours is a land of beautiful contrasts.
Oh! And for the love of god, don’t read the Twitter replies to Big Bird’s message. You knew that, right? It’s goddamn grim down there.
Read More: Big Bird has now gotten the COVID-19 vaccine